I guess it was just a "girl thang"

Since my last post - the hunger I was having has subsided. I am feeling pretty good most days actually. So, I guess it was just a "girl thang" that was making me want to eat my desk! The hardest part of the day for me seems to be as soon as I get home from work. I am really hungry for dinner, but if I do my workout before anything else, it curbs the hunger. As soon as I get in the door, I change my clothes and start my workout. I can't think about it too much because it's so easy to say "i'll do it later", so I don't think - I just do. Exercise for me is a natural appetite suppresent - so this timing works well as it allows me to make dinner without nibbling while I'm cooking. Rich usually works out after work too, so the timing is good for both of us. (Although - I would like him to cook more often!) xo honey.

Some days I get up early and exercise before work, around 5:45 a.m., it just depends on how I feel and what I have going on that evening. If I know I'll be out after work, or if we have evening plans - then a morning workout is best for me and that's what I do. As long as I get it in at some point during the day - I don't really care when it is.

I only weigh myself once a week - and that is basically out of curiosity, and to make sure I'm not fluctuating "too" much. It's funny though - I can have a great week - eat clean - workout every day, and still be the same weight, or sometimes even go up a pound or so. But I don't let this bother if I know I've been on track. It's usually just from something I ate that was higher in salt (if we go to a restaurant), or if my hormones are high, or, it could actually be if I had a lot of water before I weigh myself. But - if I were to step on the scale all the time, I would go nuts.

Instead - I like feeling my clothes getting looser, or noticing small changes in my shape. I notice that I'm not out of breath as easy as I used to be. Or that I can get through my workout dvd's a bit easier each time. This is great! But it also means I have to keep challenging myself to always stay somewhat out of my comfort zone. Otherwise, my body will adapt and I will plateau.

For now - Monday to Friday is pretty easy. The weekends are where the obstacles come in. I'm not on a "clock" like I am during the week, so I have to plan more. If we're out - snacks have to come with me. I have to watch if we're visiting people and they are feeding me. I have to still log everything that I eat. I don't worry as much about my exercise on the weekend because we are usually out and about doing something.

This weekend, for example, we will be at my brother's cottage - he's decided to make it a "party" weekend and a bunch of people are coming over to eat, drink and be merry. There will be tons of food and snacks and booze. I have to be smart. It's easy to say that I will "give myself a break", but I am not going to, because this is my life now. It's not a diet - it's how I want to eat all the time. There are no breaks that need to be taken. I'm eating the foods I enjoy and there is nothing I can't have. As long as I am in control 90% of the time - I can loosen up a bit the other 10%. I will have a little bit of whatever I want. A LITTLE bit! I will swim and dance and burn some calories. I will have fun.

And on Monday, I will be back on my schedule again and it will all be good! (Until my hormones kick in again anyway). Arggggg.

Lunchtime Happiness

For the past few days, since we've been having some hot and sunny weather, I decided to take advantage and kill two birds with one stone. Well, 4 birds actually. Have my lunch; get in some exercise; clear my head and soak up some vitamin D!

I found this amazing beach by the waterfront where I work - it's about a 15-20 minute walk (fast pace that is!) to get there. That gives me about 20 minutes to sit and enjoy the sites - and then I need to head back. I'm getting a good 40 minute power walk in that way, in addition to my daily workouts - so it's great!

But the best part is that it's so lovely there! I just feel really really good when I'm there. It's a little man-made "urban" beach, complete with sand, muskoka-style chairs and beach umbrellas. Across the water is the island airport, and you feel like you can practically touch the big planes as they come in for their landing. Funny thing is - you don't even hear them even though they're only about a kilometer across the water. It's so strange.

Anyway - this is my new "spot" and I love it. It is my happy place when I'm at work! Not a bad place to hang out, don't you think!?

Huuuuunngry

I don’t’ know what’s gotten into me the past few days but I have been so hungry! I’m wondering if I’m not eating enough, or if my metabolism is getting a bit quicker? Not sure – but I’m not eating any differently than I have been for the past couple of months, yet I’m feeling much hungrier (and no – I’m not “hormonal” as I write this)

The other culprit could be that I need to step away from my desk more during the day. Otherwise I’m just thinking about my hunger! So since it’s a beautiful sunny summer day, I put on my iPod and my running shoes and headed out for a walk during my lunch hour. I work very close to the waterfront, so I thought I would see what was going on down there.

It was jam packed! Lots of tourists taking the boat cruises, sitting on the patios, enjoying the boardwalk. People out rollerblading and jogging. There was a symphony orchestra playing at one of the outdoor musical stages, boats were sailing, and there’s a man-made beach with umbrellas and beach chairs where I sat for a few minutes before making my way back. It was amazing and I got such a “high” from it!

Amazing what a bit of fresh air, warm sun, glistening water and good music can do for your mind and soul. Earth’s natural medicine.

However………..I’m still hungry. ;)

Taste of the Danforth

This past weekend was a cultural event that Rich and I try to go to each summer, called “The Taste of the Danforth”. The “Danforth” is a street in a neighbouring town, that is littered with numerous Greek restaurants. If you want great greek food – this is the place to go (besides Greece of course)!

The street was closed off for many blocks and all of the restaurants would put out their booths with samples of their food at really low prices. You basically walk and eat, walk and eat, walk and eat some more! Everything from Spinach Pie, Cheese Pie, Pork or Chicken on a stick, Baklava, Honey Balls, Gyros, Shawarmas, Pitas, souvlaki, Corn on the cob, roasted yams, calamari, and the list goes on.

So – off we went, along with my brother and his wife, and we had a really amazing time! As you know, from my previous post, I am following a healthy lifestyle and being careful about the types and quantities of food I ingest. For the past couple of months I have been doing really well, so I knew that I had to be prepared going to this event, not to fall off track or to get too lax about things. But I also knew that I was going to have a few samples of things and enjoy myself.

I should also reiterate that I rarely eat meat anymore, but ‘every now and then’ I do have a piece of fish or chicken if I feel my protein sources are low or limited. So – as we were walking along, the first thing we got ourselves was a spinach pie (or spanikopita) – it was SO GOOD! I had a light breakfast and lunch that day, so I knew that I could eat and enjoy various foods, as long as I only had a little bit of each thing.

After the spanikopita, I think we had a veggie samosa – which again – was delish! Moving on, we came across a tasty little chicken-rosemary pastry of sorts, so we had to try it! YUM! Then came the “Greek Fries” (french fries drizzled with wine vinegar and topped with Feta cheese) – YUM YUM! (keep in mind the four of us shared a small order) Then came the pork on a stick, followed by some calamari, followed by some honey balls (basically deep fried dough balls drizzled with honey!) – double-triple-quadruple YUM YUM!!

The samples we bought were single servings (not whole dishes), and despite what it might sound like above, I did not feel like I ‘over did it’. I had a couple bites, then gave the rest to Rich or my brother. As the night was drawing to a close, we stopped to sit at one of the numerous patios to have a cold beer.

Getting home, I wasn’t feeling the greatest, but I figured I was probably just a bit bloated from the beer. I couldn’t sleep. I was hot and cold. I was tossing and turning. I felt dehydrated and irritable, and had a headache. And then the nausea came.

Was I getting the flu? Did I have food poisoning? What was all this about? When I couldn’t take it anymore, I ran to the bathroom and tossed my cookies! (sorry folks) but I was feeling so sick, and it dawned on me that my body was rejecting all the CRAP I had just put in it a few hours earlier. In spite of all of this, it was actually a good thing, because it showed me that my body wasn’t used to the change in food regime, and that it was used to be fed healthy, happy foods!

When I treated it badly, it treated me badly! It’s pretty ironic – I got sick because I am getting healthy! Who knew!?

By George - I think I've Got It!

hello....anyone? anyone? is anyone still following this? I don't blame you if you're not - it's been forever since I've written and if I were you, I'd have given up ahwile ago - but if you're still reading or checking in periodically - thank you!

So, speaking of giving up, that is a perfect seguay (don't think i spelled that right) to this new lovely wonderful place i find myself in! In my 'no more giving up' world. It's a calm place, where there is happiness, confidence, peace, fulfillment, energy, love, and truth; mixed in with a little of bit of science, physiology and common sense.

This time is different. This isn't even a "time". This is just it. It's my life and it's easy and it makes sense (even though you're probably scratching your head right now since this post is not making any sense to you)....but bear with me, and it will.

Those of you who know me (and have known me a long time), know that I have been affected by my weight for many years now. I like to think that I'm an attractive person, with a "good personality", who is funny, loving and cares greatly about her friends and family. Those are all pretty wonderful traits to have I think. But...there has been this one thing that I just could never seem to master/fix/figure out/resolve/do.....and that is lose weight and be a healthy size for my body.

Sure - I've lost weight in the past - but maybe 10 lbs here, 20 lbs here, 35 lbs once - but it always came back, and i'd find myself right back in that place i didn't want to be - feeling discouraged because i "failed" yet again - and not understanding why, since I was an honour student all through high-school and college (i.e - i am no dummy), I have a great job - amazing family (both immediate and extended) and the most perfect husband that i still pinch myself. I felt successful in so many aspects of my life, so why -- oh why -- couldn't I figure out this weight thing?

Growing up i was 'fit as a fiddle' as they say - 15 years of gymnastics, 4 x a week will do that to you. I had muscles and abs and was tight and lean and flexible and agile...I was in great shape! But when i stopped it completely (around high school) and didn't keep up with any exercise/sports regime - on came the weight - and....not eating as well as I should have didn't help matters.

It was a gradual thing - as it is for most people and i didn't really notice much until I could no longer shop in the "regular" stores. Nope - it was Penningtons, or Addition Elle or Lane Bryant or anywhere that had clothes over a size 14. I am proud to say I no longer need those stores, but I am still not where i want to be or where i know i will look and feel my best.

I don't want to be skinny. I want to be fit. But more than that, I want to FOLLOW THROUGH AND NOT GIVE UP. I want to reach my goal. I want to know what it feels like to be there - to be "that" person. I know what to do. I know how to do it. I have the tools and the resources and the support, and every single thing I need to reach my goal. I just need to keep that in the forefront of my brain at all times.

I think one of the things that held me back in the past was looking for either (a) a quick fix or (b) I was completely omitting something specific from my diet (i.e. carbs; chips; sweets, etc.) which eventually led to some type of binge; or (c) I figured I'd failed so many times before, why would 'this time' be any different - got discouraged and gave up.

I don't do that anymore. I trust myself in knowing I can follow this through. I trust that it's basic math - eat less calories than your body burns on a daily basis and move more to feel energized. I know how to figure this out now and have it be manageable so that I'm not starving every day.

I don't care if it takes a year or more - in fact - that would be great because it allows me to eat everything I want to eat and enjoy my life! I've never really thought of it like that before. I can eat between 1700 and 2000 cals per week (sometimes more depending on my activity level) and still lose weight. I think that's pretty friggin' awesome when you see these people on Bernstein Diet who are only allowed around 800 cals per day! I feel so awful for them - but ....that is the "quick fix" option - and I don't want a quick fix.

I love carbs, but I eat low-glycemic, whole grain "brown" ones (if they're the 'starchy' variety) and of course other carbs such as fruits and veggies. I love potato chips, but I eat a handful or two instead of a huge bag - and only once in awhile. However, if i really really wanted a whole bag of chips (small bag) i would still have it, but I'd workout a little more that day, or maybe eat a little less the next day. I am not a huge sugar-craver, but one square of the Lindt 70% cocoa chocolate bars is just enough to give me that chocolate fix. And - if i want 'real' chocolate - i can have it too- but not every day.

This works for me I'm realizing. Just since coming back from NYC and applying these principles, I've dropped almost 8 lbs - and it wasn't that long ago we got back. I'm working out 5 days a week too - Mon-Fri so that i can "take the weekends off" - and it's great!

So, when I say "by george i think i've got it" - I really do! I really feel like i have this sucker figured out and it feels SO good! I won't be "perfect" - I will have some slips - but I will not be 'satisfied" this time until I reach the certain goal I have picked out for myself. and i think i can "see" it this time, because of the way i'm approaching it. It's manageable, dare i say .... easy! (i'm sure that will come to bite me in the ass at some point) - but you get what i mean - right?

It's not even a number on the scale that I"m after, it's just something I've wanted for a long long long long long time and I truly believe that I will have it. I've always been adverse to the term "motivation" - I think motivation is something you gain as time progresses and you see the results you're looking for. I don't think it's there in the beginning. As time goes on, I think that "I" will become my own motivation. I already feel like I am, and so far, it's best feeling in the world!

Going forward, I think I will use this blog to post about this journey of mine. I will try to write about new things I've tried, or tips or tricks or what's worked and what hasn't - also, the progress I'm making, or any obstacles i've run into. They may be short posts, but I will try to do at least one per week. Also - I will try to take photos to show my progress and post them here (not making promises on that one just yet), but for now, below is a picture of me probably at my highest weight since I met Rich (this was at his cousin's wedding in Florida) and beside it is a picture pretty close to where I am now. The second one is not where I want to be, but I'm still proud of the accomplishment I've made so far. So stay tuned - and please 'don't give up'! :)